Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Just a short post, I have to be downstairs in front of the TV for the season finale of LOST in about 19 minutes. I have been sick since Monday, like the 3rd cold I've had in 3 months. I thought it was allergies (tis the season) this time until I took NYQUIL before bed and had a miraculous recovery. Yesterday I spent the whole day feeling miserable, cold, and tired. It was one of those days where it is warmer outside than in your house but I didn't feel up to being outside. While the little guy napped I took an hour long hot bath. It felt so good I just didn't want to get out. Anyway, today I am much improved. I was able to feel clear all day without the help of cold medicine.

The good news is I was not hungry at all while I was feeling bad. I had to remind myself to eat meals and wasn't using up my points on snacks. That feels good. Usually I gain weight while I am sick because I never lose my appetite. I didn't work out either though, so my metabolism is probably at a low point. But I am feeling better so I'll be getting back in the exercise habit again.

The weather is supposed to be great the next few days, can't wait for that. Tomorrow the big kid and I are headed to Syracuse for an appointment with his endocrinologist. Friday we are having a garage sale. Hopefully we'll get rid of some junk and maybe make a few bucks too.


Monday, May 21, 2007

Happy 14th Birthday to my sweet first born. I love you!

Watching what I eat

Well the truth of the matter is I am about 40 pounds over weight. According to Weight Watchers my ideal weight for a person my height is 108 pounds. Right now I weigh in at 151 pounds. That is done from a non pregnant high of 160 (I don't care to think about the pregnant high) back on March 1st of this year. To me 108 pounds is too light. I don't need to be skinny skinny or a size 4, I just want to be healthy. So personally, I am setting a goal weight of 120 because when I weighed 120 (7 years ago) I felt fit and healthy and I wore a normal size 7-8.

Most of that 9 pound loss has happened in the past 5 weeks and for the first time I am feeling in control of myself. I have been doing a few things that I feel have helped me...First of all I have made exercising a priority. I am committed to exercising every day and really sweating. For the first time in my life I am training to run. Really, Me! I almost can't believe it. I am going to remain committed even when I have a few bad or busy days, I am not going to give up because I missed a day. I am just doing to get back into the habit without the harsh judgment from myself. My Ipod (thanks A & R) is great too. I found a podcast called from Couch to 5k in 9 weeks and it has been integral in getting me moving and ready to run. I'm in week 3 right now. There is nothing better than just running to your own tunes and not the TV show the guy to your right is listening too.

Another tool that is working for me is the weight watchers website and tracking my foods point value. I have never been one to diet, I just can't stand feeling deprived. What I like about the point system is there is no food I can't have if I want it. But it makes me aware of my choices and I can either have a small portion of the item I want or cut back some where else. When I realized how many vegetables are zero points I have started grabbing those first and ending my meal with smaller portions of the higher calorie foods. But if I want a bowl of ice cream I check where I am in points for the day and I decide how much ice cream I want to have. Being conscious of portion sizes is really helping too. I don't just fill up the ice cream bowl anymore, I use a 1/4 cup measuring cup as an ice cream scoop and stick to half a cup if that is what I can have that day.

I also turned to my doctor for acupuncture to help with my compulsive eating. I have had 2 treatments and I think the first really helped with my feelings of hunger and binging. In 10 days after the 1st treatment I lost 3 pounds and I hadn't started any of the weight watchers stuff then. Overall, the acupuncture has helped me feel less stressed and less anxiety which ended up helping me get the compulsive eating under control. Without that I don't think I could be successful following weight watchers because I used to feel like I needed to be eating all the time. I did not see the dramatic weight loss after the second treatment, but I have not felt any unhealthy compulsion to eat since then so I feel like it was a good boost and continues to help me manage my diet. It is expensive (about $80 each treatment) so I'll only go for another treatment if I start feeling stressed and anxious and having a compulsion to binge.

Going forward in this weight loss journey is going to be a challenge. Its weight that I have been putting on for over 5 years and in that time I have gotten as far as 151 a few times. In the past I have started putting it back on at this point and I am a little afraid that the scale is going to hover around there for awhile. In the past 5 weeks I have lost an average of 2 pounds each week, so I am going to really try to keep that up for the next couple of weeks. This week I want to work out everyday, stick to my points and feel really good. The first time the doctors office weighs me and they don't have to take the big weight all the way to 150 will be a huge milestone for me. Here is hoping it could be next week!

Getting Started

OK, I guess this is my first post, because the last one was only one sentence and I didn't really know what I was doing. Actually, still don't but now I have edited my profile so I feel like I accomplished something this time.

So, Why Blog? Because I have been thinking about starting a journal for months, maybe years now and I have not. Because I am proud of the direction I am going and want to document my trip along the way so I will remember where I came from. Because it will be a good place to record and monitor the weight I take off and serve as positive reinforcement. And even though I am shy and hate attention, I am really not shy and love attention. It is one of my truths, I hate attention and love it at the same time. I hate the way I feel on display and exposed when I have someone's attention, yet at the same time I love to be noticed and appreciated. I have learned you can't have one without the other so this is an exercise in letting go and getting what I want and learning to deal with what I don't want.

And so I close this first post and hope you enjoy my musings. And if you don't, then I'll work on believing how you feel about me is none of my business.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Giving blogging a try

Wow, Hmmmmm....That seemed easy. Still the little guy is babbling in his crib, so adios for now.